Whatever Happened to Sanity?
by LisNiyonna
Summary: Mary Sue, Crossover, and Insane Teenaged mind going 'how much more messed up can I make the world of my favorite characters?" Please R/R if you can, but even if you can't PLEASE read. It'll make my day :)


This totally weird experience happened to us. We're not lying, seriously. It did. We were just walking along, chatting about the migration pattern of monarch butterflies (hell no, we were talking about guys, what else?) and suddenly, Whoosh! Here we were in this dark grimy undergroundish place.   
*********************  
Katie reached over and pinched Kendal. "What are you doing to me, you weirdo?"  
  
"What are you talking about? What are you doing to me!" Kendal slapped Katie's hand and frowned.  
  
"I'm not doing a thing to you!! Whoa, this place is creepy...bats live in caves...they like, eat our hair or something. My girl scout leader told me."  
  
"Your girls scout leader also told you that shorts are evil. Who's to say she's right about this one?"  
  
"Yeah, well you told me skirts are evil. So?" Katie was about to get into a heated argument when hands suddenly clasped over their mouths, and they were pulled into a room with a radio, where a dark haired man stood in the shadows. "Who are you and how did you get in here?" He asked as the hands removed themselves. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPEEEEE" Katie screamed at the top of her lungs immediately.  
  
Kendal bit down on the man's hand, and elbowed him in his stomach. She started bouncing on her feet, fists raised. "Come on, hit me! You wouldn't hit a girl would you!"  
  
A black man sitting by the radio looked up sharply at t he comotion the two were causing. "Shut the mess up!!" His sharp tone caused both girls to immediately straighten. Katie looked around and her eyes widened. "Kendal are you sure you didn't stick me with anything? I'm hallucinating."  
  
"I told you, Katie, I'm addicted to chocolate, not drugs. You probably got it from your girl scout Leader. Anyway...who are you, and where are we, Mister?" Kendal said to the man who's hand she bit.  
  
Katie tugged Kendal's sleeve insistently. Yanking her over by her hair, she whispered in Kendal's ear- "It's them it's THEM!"  
  
Kendal glared at Katie. "Them who?"  
  
Katie shook her head, too emotionally overcome to speak. THEM WHO?! what did the girl MEAN them who? only the characters and setting from the best damned TV show since Star Trek!  
  
Kendal looked back and forth between Kt, the Dark Haired man, and the Man at the Radio. She did this for a good minute, before turning to Katie. "Oh My God! You're right! This is soooo cool! But..how did we end up here? Did you take a short cut again?"  
  
"I dunno!" bounding forward, she grasped the surprised colonel's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "I knew I'd meet you one day Robbie!" then she blushed at his odd look. "I ah, mean Colonel Hogan sir!!" Newkirk and Lebeau started snickering int he back, Carter tilted his head, and Kinch and Kendal stared.  
  
"Katie..do you want him to think we're nuts? I mean, come on! He's just...well..."she stopped, and looked at the rest of the gang. "Oh my...I can't decide who to fawn over....I mean...eh..."  
  
Katie shook her head. "I'm Katie, this is Kendal. We're your youngest fans." LeBeau shook his head. "That'd be a little girl named Lili, she's 12. Nuts about Newkirk." Newkirk rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well technically, we're the youngest. Right about now, we're close to Negative 50 years old.."  
  
That got strange looks, let me tell you. Before Hogan could come up with a proper response, a yell from above came up. "Uhm, some prisoners coming in-You want to see this, Colonel..."  
  
Before anyone could tell the girls to stay where they are, they shot up into the barracks to look out the window of Hogan's quarters...  
  
"Oh Dear Lord! I think I've died and gone to heaven! She's here! The greatest female to ever grace the halls of Star Trekdome! I wonder if she has Betsey with her.."  
Kendal smiled dreamily at the thought of touching Betsey.  
  
Katie snorted. "Kendal, wake up? What the hell is she doing in Stalag 13?"  
  
"Oh damn....something's seriously screwy right about now...I wonder what'll happen next. If Kirk comes, I'm gonna rip the tribble off of his head.."  
  
Katie snorted. "OMG PARIS IS WITH THEM!!" She nearly fell over. She had many people she drooled over, have you noticed?  
  
Kendal poked Katie hard. "Come on, get a grip. It's only Paris. Now...if Chaky-boy was here..."  
  
Kendal let out a screech and fell onto the floor. "It's him! It's really him!" she started to drool.  
  
Katie grinned. Then she noticed the guns pointed on them as german officers escorted them through the gate and toward the cooler. "oh damn...we're not gonna be able to get their autographs..."  
  
"Have no fear, Janeway's here! How many times has she saved her crew from deeper poo than this.."  
  
Katie considered this. and the brightest idea occurred to her. "You think we could find the tunnel into the cooler? I want to meet them... hogan's in the office with Klink and the rest of the crew are going to be by the coffee pot or the radioroom trying to confirm their status as allied troops. They'll probably convince them. But that'll give us at least twenty minutes!!" she got more excited.  
  
'But doesn't the tunnel to the cooler lie past the radio room?"  
  
Katie shrugged. "We'll be really quiet."  
  
"Well...I do wanna touch I mean meet Chakotay. I'm game"  
  
Katie grinned. "Let's do this..." and they creeped into one of the tunnel entrances while all the heroes were outside trying to get a word in edgewise to the VOY people. (A/N yes, they'll definitely talk in a minute. Hold your horses.)  
  
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Klink rubbed his nose. "I DONT CARE! Put them in the cooler, I'll talk to them tomorrow. Less to put in today's report.."  
  
As Schultz stumbled out of the office, He looked longingly at the schnapps...would anyone notice? Grinning mischeivously he reached for it and then screamed as dwarfish green thing bapped him with a stick. "Drink on duty, do you? Bad for you, that is. Demotions, it can cause."  
  
Klink stumbled back, leaning on his desk, stuttering "SCHULLLTTTTTTTTZ" but a long haired man shook his head and immediately shut him up.  
  
"I'm Master Jinn. These are Masters Yoda and Kenobi...We're Jedi. Can you please tell us where we are?"   
Yoda nodded "And why having such young bodies we have? Feel 800 I do."  
  
Klink ran out of the room as Yoda spoke screaming "HOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAN HELLLLLLP"  
  
*****************************************  
  
One moment Vader was walking into the Throne Room on Coruscant, and the next moment, he was in a room filled with oddly dressed humanoids. He stopped dead in his tracks, and tried to acertain his position through the Force. Unfortunately, all he could tell was that quite a few of the patrons in this place were on the verge of inebriation. Though in the background, he could sense a Dark Presence.  
  
Palpatine steepled his fingers from the shadows. His apprentice had arrived scarcely two minutes after he had-just as the force had predicted. He used the force to blind the people around them from their presence, and smiled evilly. This was a world ripe for the plucking...and a strong but largely untrained presence in the dark side was not too far away...~Come Lord Vader. We have much to...discuss.~  
  
Vader located the direction in which his Master was, and bowed his head before going towards it.   
~Yes, My Master~  
  
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The three jedi looked up simultaneously, frowning as the strong and threatening powers appeared. "Master, that feels like..." Obi frowned.  
"Like Vader it feels. Dead I thought he was." Yoda mused. Jinn nodded curtly. "Let's go." 


End file.
